After getting engaged, a young couple discovered a significant salary difference between them. The woman now wants to quit her job and be a stay-at-home fiancée, which led to speculation on social media about her intentions. However, her fiancé stands by her.

A 30-year-old man, recently engaged, took to the AITAH subreddit to seek advice about his current situation, which left him feeling conflicted. He explained that he works as a researcher for a large tech company and met his fiancée at their workplace 2.5 years ago.

The 26-year-old woman, who works in marketing, captivated him, and he asked her out. Their relationship has been wonderful so far, and he admires her organizational skills. He takes pride in her ability to plan and manage marketing events effectively.

While his job had predictable hours and rarely required late nights, her work often demanded long hours, which she frequently complained about. He also revealed that he is neurodivergent (ADD) and struggles with basic tasks, which makes her support invaluable to him. Her patience and ability to bring order to his life are qualities he deeply appreciates.

When his fiancée moved in with him, they discussed finances for the first time. He was fortunate to have a great benefits package, and while she knew he was financially stable, she was still surprised by his salary, which was fifteen times higher than hers. He offered to cover her living expenses so she could focus on paying off her student loans.

Although he owns their apartment, his fiancée insisted on contributing financially. They decided to split expenses based on their incomes, which worked well since she values her independence. A month before his Reddit post, he proposed to her. Despite never asking for anything extravagant before, she requested a $15,000 engagement ring. Though he was uncomfortable spending that much, she convinced him it was worth it since she would wear it forever. However, she frequently mentioned the ring’s price to others, which bothered him.

The day before his post, she told him she was quitting her job in 15 days to focus on planning their wedding, which was set for the summer. She said she wanted to be a stay-at-home fiancée because she was tired of long work hours. He pointed out her remaining student loan debt, but she laughed it off, saying they were a team now and her salary didn’t matter compared to his.

He suggested she take a break instead of quitting her job completely, as they weren’t planning on having children right away. He wanted her to maintain her independence in case anything happened to him. This led to a heated argument, with her accusing him of being cruel for expecting her to work when they could afford for her to stay home. He admitted that losing her income wouldn’t affect their finances significantly, but the situation still upset him.

He asked Reddit users if there was such a thing as a stay-at-home fiancée. Despite his doubts, he wanted to support her and provide a good life. Many Redditors responded, with some calling her a gold-digger.

“Is she a gold digger?” one person wrote. “She wants you to pay her student loans, and she’s showing off the expensive ring. Next, she’ll want a fancy car and a bigger house without contributing. You’re not financially compatible.”

A few days later, he updated his post. After calming down, he talked to her again over a nice dinner. She explained that she felt her job wasn’t significant because it didn’t contribute much to their combined income. He stressed that it wasn’t just about the money but also about her hard work and talent in her field. He reminded her of how much effort she put into reaching her current position and expressed concern about their lack of savings if something happened to him. He also worried that his high salary made him a target for layoffs.

She admitted feeling overwhelmed by wedding planning and work. She wanted to plan their wedding from a happy place and escape her stressful job. She agreed to look for a job after their honeymoon, aiming for a role with more stable hours. She emphasized she didn’t want to be a trophy wife and even considered going back to school for her master’s degree.

In their final conversation, he found her compromise reasonable and supportive. She planned to quit her job the following week. He understood why some called her a gold-digger, but he also trusted his judgment of her character. While he didn’t like her bragging about the ring, he recognized that many of his colleagues’ spouses had similar or better rings.

Redditors continued to comment. “The ring was a red flag,” one wrote. “Her eyes light up at dollar signs. She’s after the lifestyle without the effort. Don’t let her quit.”

“Get a prenup because she’ll never go back to work,” another advised. “Her plan is to have you pay all her expenses while she plans a wedding she’s not contributing to. What’s her plan after the wedding? Just to exist?”

In response to his update about his parents pushing for a 2024 wedding, one reader said, “You’re an adult. Don’t let your parents dictate your life.”

Another suggested hiring a wedding planner instead of quitting her job. “She’s putting you at risk and doesn’t want to work anymore. Get a prenup and use birth control.”

In the end, one commenter advised, “If you’re happy, that’s fine. But don’t be blind. Protect your future with a prenup. Plan for the worst while hoping for the best.”

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