Mike Berry, a writer and father of multiple kids, discusses on his blog why his wife is more important to him than his kids and why every family should follow this rule. The blog post gained a lot of attention and caused controversy; some people condemned the author, while others were moved by it because it fundamentally altered the way they thought.
Eight adopted children are being raised by Mike and his wife Kristin. They have been happily married for 17 years, and they actively work in social work to assist other families in resolving issues and fostering positive relationships.
My two teenage children often receive the first notification that it is time at 8:30. And at nine o’clock at night I say, “You should go to your room.” I virtually always do this at night. They always dispute about why they have to go to bed at nine o’clock. We are no longer children.
“I’m just asking you to leave the living room; “you don’t have to go to bed” right now. I haven’t seen my mother all day because we were both so focused on our job. Time spent together is necessary.
The females squint their eyes.
In all honesty, we have adhered to this regulation since I can remember. Since we became parents 15 years ago, the kids have never consumed all of our time. Although we are with our kids a lot of the time, we are never with them nonstop. We adore our kids, and they undoubtedly have a significant impact on our life. They may always count on us for support and assistance.
But there is “us” in addition to kids. Our connection. I have to make sure that Kristin and I have a solid and happy marriage. Here are four of the many factors that make it vital.
1. The foundation of the family is a strong marriage.
Your family is not built around your kids. They play a significant role, but they are not responsible for maintaining the disorganized system we refer to as family. You and your spouse—your partner—are the most significant members of the family. You bear full responsibility for everything. And the youngsters model their decisions after you.
2. We were there before them.
It was the two of us before they came into being. We developed a romantic relationship, skipped classes together, chatted on the phone all night (with the cord attached to the wall), and then agreed to be together forever. The path’s beginning was where we were. And that’s when the entire family thing began. Then, we had our lovely kids. Naturally, we are pleased to have them. But our union is a precious one. We must take all necessary measures to safeguard it.
3. It will be we who follow them.
Nothing lasts a lifetime. The day will come when the youngsters will mature and leave the nest. I don’t know about you, but a 30-year-old child has no place in my house. I want my marriage to my wife to stay as solid and close as it was at the beginning even when they move out of our home, start their own families, and take care of their own children. And we need to work on the relationship right away in order to have such a future. Our connection ought to come first. Naturally, it is not as simple as it first appears.
4. We must serve as an example for others.
I’ve said it before, but the kids watch us and pick up on things. They follow our every move and mimic it. “I frequently remark, “We are raising adults, not children.” Again, I don’t know about you, but I want my kids to have a” normal outlook on relationships with people and raising a family. And I want our union to serve as a role model for them. My wife, then, comes before my kids. Although they are quite close, they still want my wife.
We all tend to feel worn out and tense at the end of the day. Your children do require you; they are very crucial. not your career, pastime, or close friends. And you should be concerned for them. But first, tend to your connection. Children are confident that their parents love them when they witness their parents’ affection for one another. However, what matters most is that kids will have faith in both themselves and their surroundings.
We keep hectic schedules. We never have enough free time. We are with our kids all day long. And for this reason, every evening at 9 o’clock, I ask them to retire to their rooms. Due to this, my wife and I go on dates once every two weeks. since it’s important.
My wife comes before my children because of this.
Do you share the author’s viewpoint? Comment below with your answer and we’ll post it.