It was never easy to find the right person. But it’s even more stressful for lovers today, who have to deal with all the old problems and a bunch of new ones as well. Living in the age of the internet and social media is not as cool as we usually think it is. Dating, having a lot of options, and thinking too much about yourself make things a lot harder.
Bright Side put together a list of 12 problems that almost all pairs face today.
Too much time spent together
Spending time with someone isn’t the same as putting them at the center of your world and ignoring your own wants. But constant texting and not wanting to be alone make it easy to put too much stress on the relationship.
When we start to feel bored and annoyed with our partner for no reason, it’s usually time to give each other more space.
2. Texting mistakes
Some things never change, like the fact that tone of voice and body language tell us the most important things. But because of computers, people spend a lot of time trying to figure out what each other means by a single emoji or a one-word response.
When we need to talk about important things, we get lost in translation when we write. These kinds of things need to be talked about on the phone or in person.
3. Worry about not finding “the right” person
It’s hard not to think about the hundreds of possible relationships that are out there when you use a dating site. This makes us question a present (or even good enough) partner and wonder if we made the right choice or if we should keep looking for “the one.” Psychologists say to put that energy to better use by being the kind of partner you’d want to have.
4. Being afraid to make decisions
There is always the urge to leave a difficult talk. Most of the time, we can just stop reacting instead of making a choice and taking responsibility.
But because of this, lovers today feel useless when they face big problems. Even when the connection depends on making a choice.
5. Meddling cousins
People who have trouble making decisions tend to ask their relatives for help too often. This can make relatives a big part of a couple’s life and give them too much power in the relationship.
Remember that our parents and friends will never know our partners better than we do. So, the best thing to do is hang up the phone and make our own mistakes.
6. Using social media too much in public
People who use social media tend to lie in their posts and try to make their relationships look as good as possible. But this still has an effect on us. We get unrealistic expectations for our own lives and then post pictures of our most important moments online so that hundreds of people can see them. This makes us feel less close to each other.
When you’re feeling jealous of other people’s relationships, it’s best to remember that each one is different. And we never know what’s going on behind the scenes in other love stories.
7. Having a habit of being sneaky
Many of us don’t get close to people because we’re afraid of getting hurt. So instead of saying how we really feel, we think about how to write a text answer that won’t show our cards and won’t let our partner know how much we really worry and care about them.
But in the end, this turns off our friends and family and makes things harder. Maybe it would be better if we were more clear about what we really want.
8. Not having the guts to face conflict
Messages pass around a lot of information, but the most important things, especially those that could lead to fights, are often left unsaid. People are more likely to stay away from their partners rather than start a potentially dangerous talk, even if that means the end of the relationship.
9. Social media can make people feel jealous
There are dozens of apps that make it easy to cheat, and if our crush “likes” a picture of someone we don’t know, it can really hurt us. All of this makes people in a relationship more jealous and more afraid of being lied to.
But unless we are almost certain that our partner is cheating, we shouldn’t put too much stock in what they do online.
10. Talking about past lovers
No one wants to hear about their partner’s exes all the time, but they still take up too much space in our lives. It can be hard not to stumble across a former lover’s profile by chance and not think about the time we were together. So, couples may talk about their ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends all the time and sometimes find that they aren’t over them.
11. A skewed view of love
Social media is to blame for our distorted views of love and ourselves. There is always pressure to keep up with the picture-perfect shots that pop up on our feed. People start to believe that it’s only worth it to start a relationship if everything is great.
12. Constant pursuit of excitement
Pop culture and movies have taught us that love is always exciting and makes us feel good all the time. Even so, that’s more usual at the start of a relationship, and it’s fine if things calm down over time. Even so, modern couples tend to give up on their relationships as soon as the excitement dies down.
What are the most difficult relationship problems you’ve ever had to deal with? Have a lot of your friends had the same kinds of problems? Please tell us in the comments what you think.