When a woman found out that the “man she is dating makes a lot less than” she does, people had different reactions. “Some of her friends said the relationship would never work.
The unnamed mother went to the British parenting group Mumsnet and said that the” difference in wages doesn’t “bother her, but she is worried that it could cause “logistical problems” in the future.
She wrote in her post”, “Just started dating a guy, and it turns out I make 10 times what he does.”
“First of all, I should say that “this doesn’t bother me AT ALL in theory. I come from” a family that was very poor.
“We grew up in a public housing project. Both of my brothers and their families still live there. I was just lucky that I worked hard and got on the right track.
“I’ve been divorced for ten years, and every man I’ve met has made less than me, but that hasn’t really been a problem.
“However, the gap has never been this large before.”
She also said that when they go out, the man “still insists on paying for everything” and that he is more giving than anyone else she’s been with.
Her post went on to say, “Except for our salaries, we have a lot in common.”
“We both have three kids around the same age. Our long-term goals and interests are the same, and we get along great.”
“However, a few “of my friends have said it could never work. The worry is about how it could work in” terms of logistics in the long run.
“I have a really nice lifestyle that I pay for myself. I’m not into designer brands or expensive restaurants, but I do like to travel to nice places and enjoy some of the things a higher salary lets me do, like take a taxi home instead of taking the bus, for example.”
“The woman said that she thinks it’s “lovely” that he” wants to pay, but she feels bad about it because it will cost him much more than it will cost her.
She wrote at the end of the post, “So unsure what to do. I don’t care how much money a man makes. He works hard, is a great guy, and is a great father.
“I can see that logistical problems could come up in the future, but I don’t know what to do about that.”
In a later post, she said, “He does have assets.” His house is really nice. He has had it for many years.
“[“He has] kids in their teens who seem pretty happy (I haven’t met them, but he tells me a lot about them).
I haven’t asked him too many questions about how he gets by on his small pay because I don’t want to make him” feel bad.
A lot of people thought that the big difference in incomes could be a problem in the future.
Someone wrote, “Hmm… I dated someone who made at least half as much as I did, and I didn’t want “”to do anything to make more” money.
“He was nice, and it was fun while it lasted, but I quickly found that I would have to make sacrifices and not do what I wanted to do, or pay for most of the” “holidays, activities, dates, etc. I didn’t like either choice, and I knew this would” make me angry at him.
“How much do you like him? “Could you see yourself getting married and him getting half if it didn’t work out?’
Another person wrote, “It’s nice that he pays and he sounds nice, but you should think about the long term.” You’re planning a trip, and you want to go” on a “5-star long-distance trip for three weeks, but his” income only allows for a 3-star trip to “Europe for a week.
‘What do you do? Do you fund him? What if he says no? Are you used to having bad vacations?
“What if he agrees?” Are you happy to give him” money?
“Are you willing to pay a bigger share of the household income if you move in together? It could work, but it’s more likely that you’ll have to give up something, and you might not like that.”
And a third said, “Maybe my view is skewed because I’ve spent my whole life with low-earning, low-ambition men who seemed nice at first but ended up taking me for all I was worth and leaving me broke.” He might be nice. But just be careful op.’
But “a number of other people thought that money isn’t everything and that she should keep seeing the man if she” likes him.
One person wrote, “If I were you, I would. Everything shouldn’t depend on money. “I’d much rather take the bus with the man I love than take a car home alone.
“You might have to change and” give up some things, “but that’s true in every relationship. He will have to learn to let you take care of him.
Someone else said, “Money is just money.” If you like him for” who he is, isn’t that the most important thing?
And a third said, “I’m not a high earner, so this probably doesn’t apply to me, but it sounds crazy to me.”
I can’t figure out what’s wrong with this man because there are no red flags. He has money, owns a home, pays his own way (and yours), gets along well with his kids, has a lot in common with you, and is polite.
“Right now, there are no real problems.”